What if…

Posted on January 11, 2012 by Lisa Robbin Young

Back in September, I was in Atlanta for a conference, and had an opportunity to speak briefly to the audience.

In my time “on stage” I shared from the heart about how difficult 2011 had been for me, and yet, how changing my perspective was ultimately the one thing that could salvage my life and my business. I challenged everyone in the room to take a closer look at their motivations, and what their life/biz really meant to them.

It was met with rousing applause, and I toyed around with sharing my verbal “manifesto” publicly for a while after I came back home.

Ultimately, I shelved the idea, because I couldn’t figure out exactly the words I wanted to use.

Um, that would be my perfectionism kicking in. I didn’t want to share it until it was “ready.”

That is, until my friend Dave, a high school teacher, and would-be entrepreneur, wrote this post that riled me up enough to want to work it over again.

So here’s the gist of the “What If” speech I gave that date in Atlanta. It’s a work in progress, and ultimately, it will become something more robust, but for now, I just want to share these ideas with you. I’d love your input.

What if…?

To say 2011 was a tough year would be an understatement for me.

It sucked in so many ways. In 2010, I stood here talking about the pain of the breakdown and the breakthrough. This year was also painful, but for different reasons:

I invested a lot into this year: time, energy, money. I also lost a lot this year: closed a business, laid off my assistant, launched multiple products that “failed” (meaning they didn’t make money, or go according to my “master plan”).

People were coming out of the wood work telling me what I was doing “wrong”, telling me what I “should” do, and I stopped trusting my own instincts for a good portion of the year, because I had shifted into survival mode.

Finally, as is wont to happen when you stop trusting yourself, there came a point where I started questioning everything.

  • What if this year was a waste?
  • What if I’ve been spinning my wheels and ruining my life?
  • What if people hate the new direction I want to take?
  • What if I can’t find my Perfect-Fit Customers?
  • What if I get burned by (insert scenario or person here) again?
  • What if I’ll always be fat, unhappy, and… (you get the idea)

“What if.. what if… what if… What would my life be like then?”

I was hurting, and instead of taking time to heal, I was trying to play through the pain. Sometimes, pain is a signal that needs to be heeded.

So many of you are hurting in this exact same way, second-guessing yourself like I did. We ask all the wrong kinds of “what if” questions: the kind that roil our mindset and throw us completely off our track. Questions that don’t serve us, aren’t life giving, and, quite frankly, do more harm than good.

What if, instead, we chose to ask better questions?

There’s a better way to approach being an entrepreneur. Better questions pave the way. Here’s a handful of the questions I jotted down to start asking myself, to kick start my new mindset and my better direction:

“What if (Version 2.0)…?”

  • we stopped making excuses, and start making friends?
  • we decide to be our own guru?
  • we chose “also, and” instead of “either/or”?
  • we just want what we want?
  • we listened to our own still, small voice, instead of the cacophonous noise around us?
  • faith is the antidote to fear?
  • we focused on excellence first?
  • people spread awesome?
  • we choose to spread awesome, too?
  • the person sitting next to you has the gift you need and you never said “hi”?
  • your solution will save the world, and you chose not to share it because it’s hard, or painful?
  • we got comfortable with being uncomfortable?
  • we fully lived in our bodies?
  • your refusal to let your light shine actually condemns the world?
  • your mission is counter-intuitive to the current culture, but it needs to be (someone’s got to shake up the snow globe)?
  • you choose to value yourself?
  • excellence takes more time for me – and that’s okay?
  • we choose to give and receive fully – and accept that sometimes, hurting may be a part of it?
  • we accept that we’ll never know it all – and we’re not supposed to?

“What if.. what if… what if… What would my life be like then?”

What if your greatest power was found in being who you really, truly are? That’s what I’ve spent the last 11 months exploring here at Business Action Hero. You can see what I’ve ventured into over at the new blog, and the work we’re doing on this new “TV” series thing. But this is just the beginning of the adventure for me. I’m finally feeling courageous enough to trust my gut again, and ask better questions to get better results. What about you? What are you doing to create the life and business to which you most aspire?

Categories: Journeys | 9 Comments

Creating Drama

Posted on January 9, 2012 by Lisa Robbin Young

So in the midst of all the weird inspirations over the last 6 months, I was struck with the idea to create a web-based “TV” series.

Meaning, it looks and feels like a television program, and you watch it online.

Except I have no clue how to do that. I mean, I can script a play, and I know how to act (here’s an audition video – strong language warning!) and I can sit in front of a camera (I’ve done it dozens of times here). But there’s a distinct difference between filming “talking head” type videos in my kitchen, and doing a full-blown tv show.

There’s other people involved, for crying out lout.

I’ve got to rustle up actors, and a screenwriter (because I’m not going to try to tackle a script all by my lonesome), and camera gear (because my little webcam just won’t cut it, thanks), and people to run those cameras.

Now, I could take a cue from @edward_norton, whose last film “Newlyweds” cost just under $9k to shoot (and another $100k or so in post-production), but I’m not nearly as connected as Ed, nor do I have $100k just lying around to make it happen.

So what’s a girl to do?

Well, before we go there, let’s ask a more important question:

Why in the name of all things holy would you want to make a TV show, Lisa?

Thanks for asking! Actually, the short answer is I don’t want to make it. I feel compelled to make it. In fact, I’m not even sure if I can make it. But I’ve been inspired to give this thing a go.

For a long time, I’ve believed that a compelling drama is more like Shakespeare – where there are plenty of funny moments, and even the minor characters have complications. The characters aren’t two-dimensional, and it’s more like real life.

And, of course, I wanted to do something that would benefit entrepreneurs. I wanted to create something that would actually serve the world, not just “entertain” in some mindless, Hollywood drama kind of way.

I want to create partnerships: with artists, musicians, entrepreneurs, business owners, and of course the talented folks that actually make up the cast and crew of the show.

In short, I want to create a symbiotic edutainment ecosystem: one that lives and breathes and benefits everyone involved. Where the sponsors aren’t found in commercials, but as integral components to the story line itself. Where the viewers are actively involved in shaping the direction of the show – and even appearing on screen from time to time.

I’m no futurist, but to me, this is the direction that television needs to go. So-called reality television is nothing more than a modern-day game show, and the outcomes are often a known quantity.

I want to create something that blurs the lines between reality and television so much, that you’re not quite sure what’s real anymore – something that gets you caught up in it – and you actually become a part of the show.

You know how, in the movies, a phone number it’s always “555-xxxx” because if you call the number you’ll get an automated “this number’s not in service” kind of recording? They tried to use a “real number” in Bruce Almighty – and a lot of people tried calling it, wanting to talk to God.

Well, what if we could use real numbers and have real people on the other end – driving real commerce to real businesses, and engaging people in real conversations with real people?

Yeah. THAT. That’s just the tip of the iceberg with what I want to do with this project.

And it’s starting to take shape. Kinda scary cool.

Which brings us back to the original question:

How do you make something happen when you don’t know how to do it?

Short answer: You learn. You study. You practice. And you put yourself “out there” and see what happens.

That’s what I did when I decided I wanted to record an album (I’ve done two now, working on my third). I learned how to build a synthesizer, play instruments, engineer the recording, mix the tracks, design the cover, and press the discs. And that’s a knowledge that can never be taken away from me, no matter how many discs or downloads I sell. And that knowledge is transferable to other people and situations. I learned about marketing my music, getting “gigs” and touring. All valuable stuff when you’re building a production company and getting your show into the hands of thousands of fans.

So I’m researching, asking people to point me in new directions. I’m creating a whole new academic pursuit for myself, as I learn what even goes into a screenplay (it’s not the same as a stage play, which is where I’m more familiar). I’m approaching musicians and learning about music licensing from the OTHER side of the microphone now.

And every step along the way, I’m pleading my ignorance and trusting people to not screw me over. Trusting that God’s going to point me in the right direction to talk to the right people and make the right decisions.

Without much of a net.

Wanna watch?

Every so often, I’ll be posting updates here on this crazy new journey. It’s a business, after all. We’ll explore the business elements of making this show happen – from crowdsourcing, to approaching “untouchables” and the like – I’ll be covering it here as we go. If you’re intrigued by the show, you can follow @iamthemechanic on twitter now, and see how it all unfolds. Actually, that account is for one of the characters in the show, just one of the interactive elements of the program.

I’m thrilled to be living in a time where technology makes this kind of creativity possible. I have no idea how it’s all going to turn out. This is me, crossing the threshold and trusting the journey with the friends I make along the way.

And I hope I get to include you among those fine folks.

What about you? What are you saying “I can’t” to – but only because you don’t know how? What would you do if you knew how? Why aren’t you doing it?

Categories: Journeys | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Market Clarity Makes A Difference

Posted on January 5, 2012 by Lisa Robbin Young

Last month, I had the pleasure of connecting with a brilliant marketing strategist (we’ll call him Jake). This guy’s connected up the wazoo, and was looking for ways to break out of his local community and “get more speaking gigs” to leverage his presence and running his business, instead of his business running him.

The irony is that this guy has at least twice as many fans and followers as I do.

But as we talked, it became clear that for Jake, it wasn’t really about getting more speaking gigs – it was about getting in front of his right people – the folks I call Perfect Fit Customers.

Who’s your PFC?

As we chatted, I shared with him bits and pieces of my Sales Cycle concept, but it felt like we were talking around the real issue, instead of getting to the meat of it. Finally, Jake made an almost off-handed comment about exactly who he’d like to work with. He said it so matter-of-factly, it almost came off like an aside.

As if to say, “I’d really prefer to work with these people, but I’m too busy doing grunt work to ever make that happen.”

Sound familiar?

Yeah. It’s that moment in a conversation that can be more telling than you even realize. That phrase that you kind of blow off as you say it probably carries more weight in your psyche than you’re willing to admit.

“Whoa… hold on.. back up a minute.” I said. “What did you just say?”

Again, Jake told me exactly the kind of client he preferred working with. It was so crystal clear, I had a hard time understanding why he wasn’t working with more people like that. I mean, it sounded like he’d put some real thought into it, not just a general industry, but a specific market within that industry.

So, because I’m kind of obtuse like that, I asked him this tough question (I’m probably paraphrasing, but you get the idea):

“If you know that you want to work with people like that, why aren’t you trying to connect with more people like that?”

…And a hush fell over the crowd.

It wasn’t that he didn’t know how. It wasn’t that he didn’t know anyone. Jake had just never taken that market seriously. He was caught up in what he was already doing, and missing the opportunity to go after the PFC’s that he really wanted to work with.

How This Applies To You

So often, we go after what we’re familiar with – what we already know – because it’s comfortable. At least, that is, until it’s not so comfortable anymore. I know a guy that was comfortably making easy money with an email list. He admitted he could have stayed in his comfort zone indefinitely simply because it paid the bills. BUT because he had his sights set on something bigger, he ultimately had to burn the list (no turning back now!), retooled his marketing, and developed a killer business working with his PFC’s in a much more lucrative way.

So here’s Jake, a guy with an amazing gift for content development, marketing, and strategy, yet he couldn’t see the forest, because he had his back to it, staring at the city.

He was comfortable in his local niche, but he was speaking to the same folks month after month. People that had already heard his talk – maybe even a few times. He wasn’t generating business because he wasn’t talking to his PFC’s -nor was he really trying to connect with people in a way that would lead him to his PFC’s (because he wasn’t really considering his PFC’s seriously).

As soon as he saw what he was missing, my work was, essentially done. He had plenty to keep him busy for a month of Sundays.

The Lesson: Never Underestimate The Power of Your PFC

You may have daydreamed about a potential market, or worked briefly with someone you THINK could be your PFC, but because you’ve got other irons in the fire, you really haven’t given it a second thought. You might not think much of a market you haven’t already pursued relentlessly, even if you think you might enjoy working with them.

That kind of “non-thinking” is a sure-fire way to keep spinning your wheels, generating lackluster results.

Take some time to really contemplate/meditate/marinate on who you really LOVE working with. For me, it’s action-oriented entrepreneurs – especially creative, innovative types. I seem to have a knack for connecting the dots in a different way that allows them to see the parts of the picture they may have been missing. Those missing pieces usually translate into more money, more time or more (insert dream here).

What is that person for you? I’d love it if you’d share in the comments. Who knows? You might just find your PFC’s are reading this post looking for you!

Categories: Action Plans | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Webadventure Day 90: Right on Time!

Posted on January 2, 2012 by Lisa Robbin Young

Well, here we are! Look at all we accomplished in just 90 days:

Here’s the brand new look & feel at LisaRobbinYoung.com:

We actually launched this site ahead of schedule, because I just couldn’t wait any more! Using the “Feather” them from ElegantThemes.com, we were able to create a site that was visually cleaner, and at the same time, more appealing. I love the customizable options of this premium theme, and we’re not completely done with the site.

The motive behind the new site is to give me an “umbrella” landing spot for all things me. Because I’m involved in so many different projects, it made sense to create a hub for all my online activities. From here, you can access both BAH and DSC, as well as outlets for my music, my new books, and the new web-based TV series. This way, when someone searches for me, they’ll find all of me, not just a parochial view of one element of me.

In the next week, we’ll be integrating the new, pay-what-you-choose e-course, “The Pancake Principle” to the home page. Based on my ah-ha’s from the “Love and Pancakes” video from early in this WebAdventure, this new course will replace the free opt-in form that was on the site, providing users with higher quality content, and only a small barrier to entry.

Anyone that registers for the e-course will be automatically added to the main list for the site, thus converting the “free” opt in to a paid one. I have no idea how this will work. The current list has fewer than 200 people on it (and they’re all getting The Pancake Principle at no cost), and as I’ve mentioned previously, my goal is to improve quality, not quantity of list members. I’ll report back periodically during the year on how this works out.

No logo or brand specific imaging as of yet, because I’m planning to work with a real designer for that goodness, and I don’t want people to get attached to anything I might “design” (and I use that term loosely!).

Here’s the new look & feel over at DirectSalesClassroom.com: 

I re-vamped the logo, making it look more collegiate and chalk-boardish. I’m a hack graphic designer, but it works. Since we were trying to stay as low-budget as possible on this project, I didn’t do anything too fancy. I downloaded a font from a free font source and created a green background using Gimp (a free image tool, similar to photoshop). Then, I just typed the name of the blog in all caps, saved it as an image and there you go. No real artistic ability required!

Again, using a theme from Elegant Themes, we opted for the Nova theme this time. Currently, you’ll see a blog listing beneath the video slider. That’s going to change as soon as we have the new content pages complete. When they’re finished later this month, Direct Sales professionals will be able to choose an appropriate “path” (based on their business proficiency) and navigate the site with greater ease. It will also be easier to book me for speaking and training opportunities.

Courses are currently in the side bar. That won’t change on the interior pages, but the home page will have a link in the top navigation once we switch to the “path” based home page layout. Based on last year’s marketing calendar, the courses sold fairly well. Direct Sales 101 continues to be a highly recommended program, so I figured it would make a great “opt in” tool for January. I’m testing some different wording, though. On this site, instead of pay what you can, I’m offering a $200 course for $10, and they get complimenary access to the exclusive client newsletter. It’s essentially the same deal, but different wording. We’ll see how it works from one site to the other – especially since the target markets of each site aren’t exactly the same.

Here’s the entirely new site concept: IAmTheMechanic.com:

The “top secret” projecet I’ve been working on is finally ready to be revealed. I’ve hinted at this new web-based, interactive ” TV” series for a while now, and while the site is nearly complete, production isn’t even close to beginning. We’re developing the script for the pilot and five episodes. Then, there’s casting, and filming. Needless to say, my expectations were a bit narrow on this project.

Thankfully, I’ve got a producer/director friend who helped me right-size my expectations. Instead of launching an entire series, we’re just launching the website. This time, we turned to Elegant Themes for their “Floor 13″ theme, which gave us a quasi-industrial look and feel. Because this show is targeted to entrepreneurs, I didn’t want the site to feel gender biased. This clean, contemporary theme gives us a strong foundation for developing the site as the show progresses. The front page slider allows us to highlight the important elements of the production, and serves as a placeholder until we’re in production, when the official blog content will go live.

The “logo” is once again just a .png file with a transparent background and a groovy free “mechanical” font I found. I toyed around with several colors and styles until I found this combo. Since the main character is a writer, I wanted something to convey the “manual” nature of her work, and still keep with an industrial-ish feel. Again, I’m not a trained designer, so for zero budget, I think it looks pretty good. It evokes a bit of a “seat-of-your-pants” creativity, and that’s one of the traits of this show. The theme’s also got a “light in the darkness” feel to it, which is also a trait of the show.

Sadly, we weren’t able to bring this site fully to life by the Jan 1 deadline, but that was more for production reasons rather than website readiness reasons. Therefore, I’m counting it as done, even though the “maintenance” theme is still in place for now. The plan is to keep it up until we’re ready to start the first round of fundraising for the show. We’ve got some clever and creative concepts that we’re looking to implement – including getting viewers to be part of the series. We’re already in talks with potential sponsors!

What Else Is New?

Well, we migrated all the lists from 1ShoppingCart to MailChimp (at a savings of about $100 a month!). That took longer than I wanted it to, but a lot less time than I planned. I ended up burning a bunch of lists in the process, since they’re not part of the new direction I’m taking. The good news is that by streamlining the lists, no one list is currently over 2,000 so we qualified for the free MailChimp account (for now). And 2,000 may sound like a small number of people on a mailing list, but remember, I’m going for quality, not quantity this year. MailChimp gives me great analytical tools I didn’t have with 1SC, and I can track metrics at a more granular level. Right now, one of my lists has a nearly 30% open rate (even during the holidays), and a nearly 80% click-thru rate for those that open the emails. Those numbers are well above the MailChimp-reported averages, which makes me happy. THAT is the kind of quality engagement I’m looking for in 2012!

We “ditched” a lot of products and eliminated most of my services for the time being, as we take a new approach to product development. But, I’ve still gotta pay the bills, right? To that end, I’ve been putting effort into The Pancake Principle, which is the first product to launch under the new LRY website banner. Another project, a joint venture with a couple of colleagues, is slated to launch late Spring if all goes well. We’ve been planning the development of The Firefly Project for a month or so now, and it looks like it’s going to take off (no pun intended). This will probably be another LRY project, since it’s a bit more spiritual in nature. Add to that two new books (The Secret Watch is nearing completion, and a complete edition of The PEACE System is up after that), and a possible slate of new tunes to record for an album, and LRY is going to be hopping this year!

I’ve also launched (and filled) my brand-spankin’ new “Real Results” hybrid coaching program. Launched on a “pay what it’s worth to you” model, this program successfully launched and will provide a stable financial foundation for projects over here at BAH for the first half of 2012. Because this site was our foundational point of contact throughout the WebAdventure, I wanted to save any big changes here for after the completion of this WebAdventure. My guesstimate is that by end of Q1, we’ll be eliminating the free opt-in here as well, and making some minor modifications to the site. Nothing nearly as dramatic as we did during this WebAdventure, though. I will be rolling out a couple of new DIY Adventures in the first half of the year, though, and look forward to sharing that part of the journey with you as well!

Finally, as I shift gears and settle into the new “online home” for myself, my plan is to make this site more instructional, and a little less inspirational. More how-to’s like this WebAdventure, and behind-the-scenes info that makes it easier to be an action-oriented DIY entrepreneur. Business Action Hero is meant to be a place for YOU to explore and grow and develop your own brand of courage. My own personal journey is better suited to my own personal webspace. Thus, I’ve transferred a few of the more applicable posts from here over to the new LRY site (so you might notice a few redundancies). Going forward, you’ll see more of my personal content there, including excerpts from the new books, writing prompts, and other stuff that’s more specific to me and what I’m up to. If it’s got a technical or entrepreneurial bent, you’ll still find it here. If that’s confusing, let me know. I’m happy to draw you a roadmap. :-)

Bottom Line…

Even though this looks like a LOT of work, to be frank, I spent about 4 hours reviewing themes, a couple hours installing them, and another couple hours trying them out. After we settled on the themes, I spent more time shooting videos and editing/uploading them than I did on the actual site development for this adventure. I spent New Year’s Eve finalizing the layout and typing up an email, then New Year’s Day, I spent a good portion of the day writing this post, creating screenshots and uploading logo images to take the screenshots. That was probably 6-8 hours total for the past two days. That included playing around with fonts, downloading and installing them, etc.

My estimation is that the entire project (not counting the documentary work for the WebAdventure, which you wouldn’t do if you were building your own site) only took about 48-50 total man hours – some of which was spent waiting for my host to complete an installation or problem solving when a link didn’t show up the way I wanted it to look. I had to search support forums when my disqus code kept coming up in the slider (solution: check the “move the output to the footer” box in the disqus setup).

And the entire cost? I’m going to rack it up for you as if you were starting from scratch. Realize that I already owned some of these domain names and already had my hosting account:

1 year of hosting $60

3 domain names $24 (at full price, which I NEVER pay)

Premium WordPress Themes from Elegant Themes: $39/year (and you can cancel and keep the themes you’ve already downloaded!)

Virtual Assistant Services to upload articles to DSC while I work on other aspects of the projects $60/mo x 2 mo

Total cost (at full retail) $243

My actual cost: $159 (again, I already owned the domain names, and the hosting account)

My revenues from one day of the WebAdventure covered all the costs. If you omitted the VA, my costs drop to just the $39 I paid for access to Elegant Themes, which makes it even more profitable. And again, the bulk of the time commitment was 2-3 hours a day while my youngest was in kindergarten. So I wasn’t spending days on end away from my family.

So what do you think? I wanted this process to be transparent and instructional to you. I hope it shows you what’s possible if you have the courage to give it a try.  Early feedback on the new LRY site is that it needs some color in the header, and the navigation links aren’t precise enough for people to know what they’re looking at. What are your thoughts on any of the new projects? I’d love to hear your take. Be sure to leave a comment and share your thoughts. I live for seeing your comments in my inbox. Really, I do! :-)

 

Categories: Action Plans | Tags: , , , , | 3 Comments

Perfect Timing

Posted on December 27, 2011 by Lisa Robbin Young

I woke up several times this morning, much like I used to on the first day of school.

I needed to be up and dressed and ready for company by 7:30 today – which for me is pretty early to receive guests.

But this was a special occasion.

You see, one of my best friends has to work this week, and I had agreed to help shepherd his foster child for a couple of days. My own boys are home, so what’s one more, right?

Well, then the unthinkable happened: my friend’s mom died on Christmas Eve.

While she was an older woman, and battling cancer as well, this was an unexpected turn for the entire family. In fact, she didn’t die until after her visiting children had left the hospital. So now there’s new developments, and an extended commitment to care for his child.

And I’m NOT complaining. I’m incredibly grateful that I had planned to take this downtime, and not have a whole lot of stuff to do that would have prevented me from saying yes to his request for help.

I am reminded of the day my brother in law died, and how the timing played out. We weren’t sure we were going to be able to make the drive to the hospital before he died. My Father-In-Law called, and said that there wasn’t much time. We said we were on our way, and we’d do our best to get there. As I recall, we made it to the hospital less than ten minutes before he died.

But you have to hear the other side of the story.

When Dad hung up the phone, he said “Ben is on his way.” In that exact moment, all vital signs rose dramatically. Then, when we made it to the hospital, Dad looked out the window and saw us coming up the hospital walk. “Ben is here.” he said.

And his vitals started dropping.

Then, we walked in the door, moments before Ben’s brother died. Over the speakers, strains of Gwyneth Paltrow’s “I’m Coming Home” are heard.

Really.

Everyone was there to say their goodbyes. Everyone made it just in time.

So this week, I was supposed to be enjoying a “week off” before all the new stuff goes live.

Which means, I’m still tweaking stuff behind the scenes, but my appointment calendar is pretty bare so I can enjoy being home with my boys, and have a fairly leisurely week – at least for me.

Maybe it was wishful thinking, but I really thought I could handle three boys for a few days.

The irony? The child Mike’s fostering is also commemorating his first Christmas without his mom.

So I’ve been feeling a little behind today as I stare at my to-do list, unable to concentrate because of kids, loud music, and rambunctious behaviour (gosh, don’t I sound like an old person?!). I looked at my newsletter, staring me in the face, taunting me, because it was due yesterday. I was feeling a bit behind schedule.

But you know what I’ve discovered? There really is no such thing.

If you believe, as I do, in God’s perfect timing, then there is no such thing as being behind. Everything happens perfectly – even if we don’t like it.

For me, especially this week after Christmas, there is an important lesson: “According to whose plan?”

Your plans don’t always go perfectly, but things always happen exactly as they need to exactly when the need to happen.

We can moan and groan about the mistakes we make, or the things that don’t go according to our plan, but there are other plans at work, too: those of your family, your friends, your clients, and yes, for those who believe, the plan of The Divine.

You can’t possibly control them all. So quit trying. Trust the process, the flow, and enjoy the ride.

That’s my lesson today, and my prayer for you as you roll into the new year.

Categories: Journeys | Tags: , , , | 6 Comments

Relinquish

Posted on December 18, 2011 by Lisa Robbin Young

We spend lots of time this time of year crafting, drafting, and editing our list of “resolutions” – which to me is hysterical, because our resolve quickly crumbles – often before the Chinese New Year begins (which, for those of you wondering, is Jan 23 in 2012).

So I gave some thought to what I REALLY wanted to let go of (once again, thanks to Amy Oscar’s amazing prompts), and created a list of ten things to stop doing in 2012:

1. Hiding my light under a bushel. There are a few things I’m pretty good at, if I can trust my friends to tell me the truth, and I enjoy doing them, so by golly, I want to do more of it – and enjoy the limelight a little in the process.

2. Judging myself based on my eating habits. “I was good today” is a load of crap. What I eat doesn’t determine my “goodness” or “badness” it just is what it is.

3. Allowing distractions to interfere with my morning sacred practice. There are mornings when the kid has “mom-dar” and just seems to know when I’m awake – regardless of my rousal time. But other times, I make room for distractions to creep into what needs to be a sacred time of meditation and prayer. I’ve started creating new habits around this. We’ll see how the trend continues.

4. Confusing one emotion for another. Often, I say I’m bored when really, I’m lonely. Or I’ll say I’m angry, when really, I’m hurt. It’s not about lying about my feelings, it’s about saying the thing that’s less intrusive on others, instead of being honest about what I’m really feeling. My goal is to be more honest with myself about what’s really going on with me.

5. Feeling guilty about not sending cards. I’m not a card sender. I say thanks, I email, I even call (which for me is HUGE). This year, I picked up texting on my phone, so I’ve got that going for me, too. For whatever reason, I’ve always felt guilty when I get cards in the mail, and while I love getting them, I hate sending them. So don’t expect ‘em from me, ‘k? And if you get one, consider yourself lucky!

6. “Trying” so hard. When Yoda said “there is no try” he obviously hadn’t met me. I’m one of the most trying people I know sometimes. ALWAYS trying something. Sometimes, trying too hard to “make” something work. Sometimes, stuff just doesn’t work, and that’s okay. I’m learning that in 2011, and want to fully internalize it in 2012.

7. Taking ignorant admonitions to heart. Some people around me really want what they think is best for me, and I love them for that. Problem is, they have no clue what’s best for me, and instead of embracing that truism, I’ve let their admonitions become my marching orders for far too many years. Sometimes, I really do know what’s best for me, better than they ever could. They’re not stupid, they just don’t know from whence they speak.

8. Ignoring the precious advice of my really smart friends. Some people around me really want what they think is best for me, and I love them for that. Problem is, I don’t always know the ins and outs of what I’m trying to do, and instead of embracing that truism, I’ve run off, half-cocked without fully listening to, or heeding their advice. Sometimes, they really do know what’s best for me, better than I ever could. They’re smart, and know from whence they speak, and I want to learn more by example instead of trial and error.

9. Making excuses instead of friends. There are always reasons why I can’t participate. Some of them are incredibly valid, but most of the time, they are lame-o. I want to have the birthday party that’s always packed, the funeral that’s standing room only, and I can’t do that from behind my computer screen all the time. Get ready, world, Lisa’s coming out to play!

10. Being anything less than fully expressed. I’ve got lots of great stories – and a few yucky ones. Sharing them is part of what makes me Lisa – and it’s high time people got the regular strength dosage, instead of the diluted dose of Lisa. Sometimes I come on strong, and I’m pretty dang enthusiastic. Sometimes I’m grumpy or angry – especially if you’ve crossed a friend. Always, though, I seek to understand, and be the compassionate person, and while I’m a little zany, I’m definitely “good people” as my mom would say. So it’s time to let that light shine – in all its glory (including typos and grammatical errors, thankyouverymuch!)

As we roll into the final days of this webadventure, what are you getting ready to shed and embrace? I woke up this morning with an inspiration for a “receiving zone” a space in my home and my heart that is cleared and waiting to receive what is trying to reach me. Part of that comes from being able to relinquish that which no longer serves. As a confirmed and recovering pack rat, that’s a challenge. But I’m up for a challenge. You?

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